I saw Jesus...

My grandpa had passed away when I was 10, and sadly I have very few primary memories of his life.  I was just a little girl, and even though I spent an abundance of my first 10 years with him and my grandma, our shared experiences are not memories, but a sort of imprint on my heart you could say.   I know that he was a wonderful person who everyone loved dearly from the stories I hear and the pictures I see. I love my grandpa dearly. After my grandpa passed away, my grandma lived alone for many years.  After 40 plus years of marriage, I am certain that this was very difficult and lonely for her.  

Then, about 7ish years ago, my 73 year old grandma met a "friend", Ken.  Ken was spunky and full of life.  He and my grandma had a lot of fun together, fishing, bantering, and enjoying one another's companionship.  My grandmother grew to love Ken and he brought excitement back into her life.  I was careful not to get attached to Ken at first, thinking that this would be disrespectful of my grandpa's role in my life.  But the longer he was around, the fonder I grew of him.  He loves to tell stories, and we undoubtedly share a common love of  travel and shenanigan.  We've spent hours in conversation, Ken, Grandma, and I, of places seen, endevours of the heart, and of my grandpa.  (Yes, even HE wants to hear stories about him!) Slowly but surely, Ken won our hearts (grandma and me).  

 In the bible 3 kinds of love are mentioned.  Eros, which is associated with romance and marriage.  Agape, which is the type of love Jesus has for us.  The third is Philos, which is a deep friendship kind of love.  I am certain Ken and Grandma share a Philos type of love, caring for one another above themselves. 

Then, a few years ago Ken had a stroke. Life changed drastically for him, and for grandma.  Instead of running around like they usually did, they began spending much more time sitting at home and talking. Slowly over the years, his health has deteriorated and my sweet grandmother has vowed not to abandon him in his need.  "If it were me in his condition, he would do the same thing." (grandma).   

This morning, I went and visited Ken in the nursing home.  I walked in the door, I spotted he and Grandma sitting together at a table eating breakfast.  I stood and watched them for a second before they saw me.  Ken was sitting there frail and helpless in a wheelchair with his hand on my grandma's knee.  It doesn't seem like much, but it is the only way that he can show his love and appreciation of her and her friendship.  This morning, I saw Jesus.  In the sterile, uninviting, stinky nursing home, eating breakfast with a man whose hand was on her knee.   

"Love one another"  - The greatest commandment ever.  I have learned so much about selfless love from my grandma and Ken.  Ken would do anything in the world for her, if only he could and Grandma sacrifices so much of herself to care for him.  I only hope that some day, I can figure out this love this too...

 

Moments

Today I was editing some of my little brother's engagement pictures and I had a moment.  As I sat staring at a photo of Corey and his soon to be WIFE...(weird)  I got a little teary eyed remembering him as a little boy.  Man was he a cute kid.   I on the other hand...well that is a different story :) 

- Here we all are on my grandma's living room floor- Melissa (6), Me (4), Corey (infant) 

I don't know how many countless fights we got into, how many times I proclaimed my "dislike" of him, and all the times that I made fun of him for being such a little redneck.  He sure can get under my skin.  But we have had a lot of fun together and he has definitely put up with his fair share of stuff from me!

Looking at his engagement photos,  I can't hardly believe that he is going to be a husband.  I have to admit that it took me awhile to get used to the idea.  Partly because he is a BABY...only 23!  Partly because I always figured I would get married first.....which can be a touchy subject for me.  But I can truly say that I am super excited to get another sister and am super excited that my brother isn't one of "those guys" that can't (or won't) settle down.  Way to go little bro!  

I am really honored to get to be apart of Corey and Kiersten's lives and it was a privilege to get to take their engagement pictures.  Anyone who knows my brother knows that photos aren't his "thang" but he was a real trooper, doing everything that I said...without complaining (which is amazing)!  Here are some of my favorite shots of the day.  Congratulations little bro, and welcome to the family Kiersten!  

Hello Again...

I have discovered a pattern.  Once a year (at approximately the same moment in time)  I stumble upon a forgotten desire to be a blogger.  Remembrances of the forgotten.....here's how it began.

I planted myself in front of my computer, something that is a frequent occurrence these days.  Coffee in hand/lap and a to do list a page long.  Send volunteer update, plan lessons for Rooted on Sunday, find games for Fuse kids......get sidetracked by pinterest.....work on volunteer schedules and contact lists, dream about family ministry ideas for next year, google "family ministry ideas",  get sucked in to a mom's blog about the chaos of having 6 children.  STOP...maybe I should be a blogger.  And so it begins again.  Beauty from Ashes.

A year ago I posted about a new journey.  Not one that I ever foresaw myself taking, not one that I had any formal training in, not one that I had competence in or even the slightest idea of where to begin.  Start from scratch was the direction I received.  So that is where I began.

Last summer- I played with kids.  "Am I really getting paid for this?" It was fun, but I felt like I should be doing more.  I talked to Bob (the boss!) haha.  He assured me that playing with kids would pay off and that if I ever wondered what to do next, find someone to spend time with.  So I did.  I swam, ate gallons of ice cream, went fishing, hung out with moms, played kickball, jumped on trampolines, had sleep overs, campfires, and made up game after game after game (I should have been writing them all down!).   Lesson of the summer-  BUILD RELATIONSHIPS.

When fall/winter came and the kids went back to school, I wondered what to do next.  So again, I talked to Bob.  "Get to know the volunteers.   Spend time with them."  So I did.  I drank coffee, had lunch, invited them to do things with me,  did crafts, went to dinner, went to ball games, visited the teachers at work and reminesed about my days in a classroom with them.  I made friends.  "Am I really getting paid for this?"  Lesson of the Fall- BUILD RELATIONSHIPS

So a reflection of the past year- I have built a lot of relationships!  AND in the process discovered a lot about myself.  

To be honest, before Wellspring I was sort of a hermit.  In fact, I would tell my best friend Kylee "I don't want to, need to, or have any desire to meet new people."  Little did I know when God told me to start from scratch, He wasn't talking about children's ministry, He was talking about ME!  He was trying to get my attention all along, but he needed me to be in a place of utter dependency to do so.   Dependency on Him and on the leadership of others.  For the first time, my pride and self sufficiency were questioned and my brokenness was revealed over and over again.  

I don't know why I am surprised when God provides exactly what I need.  In the midst of my broken heart, secluded life, bad attitude, and selfish ambition, God new I needed people to challenge me. I needed people asking me hard questions and listening for honest answers.  

Beauty from Ashes- The story of God using a broken girl to do His will in ways she could  never fathom or deserve.